Welcome to The Royal We Knows, where, like the current Administration, we answer questions with an authoritative and confident tone, no matter what we know about the topic. None of this Rumsfeldian wavering about "known unknowns"; we're talking Dick Cheney-tells-you-to-go-f-yourself authority.
A recent question that inadvertantly reached our ears (see here for details) was this anonymous question: "is it okay to get tattooed when pregnant"? This is a terrific question, and the actual answer is: YES! It's not only okay, it's a lot of fun!
Something that's really fun to do if you're pregant and getting a tattoo, is to get that ink smack dab on your belly before you start to show. Then as your belly bulges, your tattoo - let's say it's a tiger - get's all stretched out and changes into something totally awesome and rad and like, beyond the ken of the human imagination when not enhanced by psychotropic pharmaceuticals - like a stretched out tiger!
A popular thing for pregnant women who get tattoos while they're on vacation is to get the phrase "I got pregnant and all I got was this stupid tattoo... and a baby" inked across their chest, and then go topless for the rest of the trip, so everyone at Wildwood can read how witty they are.
Now, you may have some people telling you there is a risk of infection with tattoos, but we're here to tell you: those people are French, and everyone knows those French surrender to infection faster than Tom DeLay to a greenback handjob from a casino lobbyist. Besides, the French have universal health insurance, but if you're an American, and you're pregnant, and you want a tattoo, Karl Rove is willing to bet you don't have health insurance, and we've learned not to bet against Karl (too many loved ones on NOC lists.) And if you don't have health insurance, chances are you're not gonna have a whole lot in the bank once you pay for that tattoo, so why worry about it?
Have fun with your tattoo, and remember, there's never a better time than pregnancy to get one - because two mistakes are better than one!
Posted by Matt at August 26, 2005 02:38 PM