Politics, schmolitics.
In November of this year, New York City will be voting for Mayor. The incumbent, lifelong Democrat turned Republican, Mikey "Moneybags" Bloomberg, will be seeking a second term as Mayor of this fine city. This will be my first time voting for Mayor in NYC, and I'll be damned if ya think I'm voting Republican...I vote party lines, baby...Democrat 4 Life...that is until I make million dollars...then color me red state.
August is a fun month because it's the time of the year that all the democrats are vying for the party nomination. The four frontrunners are Fernando Ferrer, Gifford Miller, C. Virginia Fields, and my main man, Anthony Weiner.
Come Election Day I'm fairly certain that Fernando Ferrer's name will be on the ballot as he is the longtime frontrunner of the frontrunners for the nomination, but from this day forward I will be extolling the virtues of Weiner. God, I love Weiner. [snicker snicker]
"Why Will? Why should I care? Why do you care? You're as political as W. Bush is borderline retarded."
Yea, I know. That was the old me. Say Hello to political active Will Zone. Here is my story of how I went from pothead, to pothead who wants Weiner for Mayor.
Cut to one week ago today. I get home around 1AM and am flipping through the channels since I can't fall asleep till I've had at least one hour decompression time on my couch. I turn on ESPN and am pleased as punch that the Mets won. Then, I start channel flipping at channel 1 and there is no need to change stations as NY1 (local NYC news) is re-airing the Democratic Primary debate thing from earlier in the evening. Each nominee had good things to say and no one was bashing each other, they focused much of their vitriol to Bloomberg, which was nice to see.
After the swimsuit competition ended they began the lightning round. This round consisted of rapid fire questions that the candidates could only answer with a "yes" or a "no." First question was something like "Is Bloomberg a better mayor than Giuliani?" Boring. Next question was something like "Would you send your kids to a NYC Public School?" Snore.
Next question was "Do you like the Yankees more than the Mets?"
I was now politically involved. I leaned forward in my seat anxiously awaiting the responses. The front-runner, Ferrer, was the first to respond.
"Oh Yea!" He says...instantly losing his credibility, and therefore, my vote.
Gifford Miller was next to respond.
"Definitely. Yes. No question." he says as my stomach churns.
I hate Gifford Miller...what kind of a dicknose name is Gifford? I hate him.
Cue my main man Weiner. My fingers were crossed.
"No. No way!"
It's 1:30AM and I screamed. "Wooooo-WHOOO!!! Yes!" Thus began my Political Activeness.
Walter, my roommate, shoulder charges his door open and comes trudging into the living room, still half asleep...
"What?! What happened?" He wipes the sleep from his ass.
"Nothing." I reply deadpan. "Just Weiner...I love Weiner."
"You're a sicko dude. I'm going back to bed."
"Night Schnookums." I yell as his door slams shut.
Now, I don't want to stand on this soapbox for too long, but please, if you live in NYC, and the democratic primaries come along...put a check next to Weiner...if not for your city, then do it for me.
WEINER in '05!!!!!!!