The Royal We consider every living, breathing visitor to our site to be a welcome guest, and we hope that you've come for the comedy, and even if you haven't, we hope you'll stay for the comedy.
But not everyone is coming for the comedy. Like Latter Day Saints ringing our doorbell, these visitors come with an agenda which is, shall we say, "different." We know this because we can see the search terms that led them to our site.
Search terms like "homeless look," "slippers day" and "burp soda." We know where the homeless look thing comes from - our own Jerry Miller is a leading consultant to the fashion industry in that area, but "burp soda?" "Slippers day?" Who is searching for these things? Is this the promised land the information highway has led us to?
There are some standard categories these searches fall into. There's the ubiquitous pop culture search - "who's the boss" (as in the TV show,) "tammy faye baker," "bush's blood pressure," and "cargo plane full of rubber hong kong" - which is on the short list of names for our Kenny Loggins cover band.
Some people are looking for directions: "road to lincoln tunnel" and "ghetto philadelphia" - or maybe those are Woody Guthrie songs.
Others have a baser intention: "dick cream," "milky titties," "a drawn picture of the woman's vagina," and "lesbian danger." Who is "the woman"? Is she married to "The Man"? Does that make her a metaphor for everyone who has ever been screwed by The Man? What the hell constitutes "lesbian danger" - Amazon.com is out of Indigo Girls CDs? (btw, the search term "Indigo Girls" leads to our site, too.) Honestly, is this why the web browser was created?
But there's more, dear friends. Apparently, The Royal We is associated with "big sequin purse" and "hand butter churners" by some search engine logarithm somewhere. Actually, maybe those should be in the adult section, too.
Finally, we love getting questions, and sometimes we get the darnedest questions online. Two recent ones caught our attention, and in later posts, we'll address them in the entirety they deserve. They are:
"child labor is good for the economy" - okay, this isn't a question, more of a debate topic, but we'll take it.
AND
"is it okay to get tattooed when pregnant"...?
Stay tuned, dear readers, stay tuned.
Posted by Matt at August 22, 2005 01:35 PM